Four reasons he’s not that ‘fine’
Okay so confession time, I like guys with muscles; broad shoulders, strong arms, six packs, any physical representation of strength would have me staring for longer than is appropriate for a sister in the Lord. A lot of my preferences have changed from when I was teenager, I’m no longer into tattoos or piercings, that pretty boy look, thank you Jesus! But I’ve never been able to shake my preference for the muscular, the strong.
When I think of a possible significant other, more specifically a husband, I think of his ability to protect, to provide, to defend and to lift up, and somehow when I see a strong muscular, well toned guy, like he was carved by the chisel of the most skilled artist outside of this world, I think that’s it I’m done, marry me! Thank God for reasoning and self-control and the guidance given by the Holy Spirit, because it has really saved me from making some really foolish decisions and miss out on noticing the more important things in a guy. There are a lot of really good looking guys in the church now, fine looking as some would say, they look the part, they dress the part and they speak the part, but so much has changed from the days of our parents to now and so much hasn’t. Judas’ still walk among us, and wolves haven’t given up their cross dressing ways. So how are we to distinguish who is for real, from who isn’t? The bible says that by their fruits you shall know them (Matt 7:16), some people try to stop us from thinking like that by taking don’t judge (Matt 7:1) out of context, but if you’re going to make a life changing decision like choose a partner for life, I suggest stick with what the bible says and check out their fruits and also read the whole of Matthew chapter 7 for good measure. This doesn’t just go for ladies, but men as well, because surely enough there are some smoking hot, “fine” looking ladies gracing our pews every Sunday that aren’t quite there yet too. Sooo here are some things you could possibly look for:
1. If he has the discipline to go to the gym every day but is always talking about not having time to pray, he is not that fine. He might be able to protect you from other guys, from a burglar or from a wild dog but he won’t be able to cover you with prayer, much less protect himself from the attacks of the enemy on his mind, his body nor his spirit. A man that is a true protector, is not only courageous enough to fight off the dangers in this world, but is courageous enough to face the intangible dangers, a protector is able to lay hands on his sick wife and with confidence declare her healed, a protector is sensitive to the voice of God so that his decisions doesn’t leave his family hurt.
2. If he knows all the right shakes and foods to eat to bulk up, but is still drinking milk according to Paul, still struggling to grasp the basics of the faith, when he should be a mature Christian discerning the good from the bad (Heb 5:12-13), he is not that fine. How can he defend you or himself when the enemy comes in with his lies, how can he protect your honour if he doesn’t even know what the bible says regarding you? How can he lift you up from a slump, if he knows nothing of the promises found in God’s word, and he is unable to declare them over you until you’re soaked in the truths from God’s word.
3. If he spends all his time fine tuning his abilities and skills and doesn’t see the value of knowing God’s purpose for his life, nor the gifts God has bestowed upon him (1 Cor 14:1), he is not that fine. Here’s another confession from me, I have a thing for drummers, musicians yes but drummers specifically, I just… I can’t explain it. But if a skilled musician spends so much time honing his skills so that he becomes popular and won’t find ways of using it to glorify God, whether it’s by playing or teaching, then I’d rather you not go there.
4.If he dresses in all the latest styles but continues to wear the rags of his past, that is, he hasn’t renounced his old ways of thinking and acting, (Eph 4:22-24), then he is not that fine. If he is to defend, protect and lift you up, he can’t still be struggling with fleshly desires to the point that he attempts to compromise your integrity each time you’re alone with him. I’m not saying that he has to be perfect, but a man who is desirous of being all God has called him to be understands the value of putting off the old man and putting on the new, and he understands the value of being honest with himself and finding ways of protecting you from his own weaknesses.
See it’s easy to fall for the physical, for the visible signs of strength and ignore the deeper more important aspects, especially in a world that is so materialistic and vain. So much so that it has penetrated the heart of the church, leading us to think that all it takes is someone saying that they are a Christian, regardless of all the contradicting signs they display, to make them worthy of becoming a permanent part of our lives. But the bible says to be sober and to be vigilant because our adversary the devil is walking around like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour (1 Pet 5:8). If we allow ourselves to be fooled by our own eyes we might get devoured and be forced to live with the consequences of letting our guards down. Am I saying that instead we should disregard what attracts us and go for what we don’t find appealing physically, no, I’m not. If you like a guy that can dress, then by all means do your thing, if you like a guy with muscles and broad shoulders, then please don’t let me stop you, but don’t let that be all there is, don’t let that be what guides your decisions. Don’t let that be the deal breakers in your decision to pursue a meaningful relationship, let the deal breakers be the state of his heart towards God and towards you. I’m still into muscles and sharp dressing and I hope that when he comes along he has those things, but what is most important to me is his heart, whether he is fully surrendered to God and I pray to God that I am just as worthy of him.
Written by Kelly Purcell
Originally posted on Kapurnum.wordpress.com on the 13/12/14
Kelly is the founder of Royalty Press United. Author of the Gemstone Royals fantasy series, Twist of Faith and Crossroads. Counseling psychologist, proud Grenadian and devoted follower of Christ.
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